90 DAY PAID VACATION


VACATION TOUR PACKAGE # 1775, USMC TRAVEL AGENCY
(Offered year round at our always sunny Southern California Bed and Breakfast location, and at our luxurious sand flea infested South Carolina swampy hideaway)
Basic info: Thank you for your interest in Tour package #1775. We invite you on our 90 day-24/7 all expenses paid vacation. This unique vacation guarantees to instill into each of you a tremendous amount of pride, while strengthening your nasty civilian body and mind to unprecedented levels. A well groomed, sharp dressed and highly motivated USMC Travel representative will pick you up at your place of residence, and from this point forward, your ass belongs to us. You bring nothing but your youthful motivation and the clothes on your back. Any extra trash you bring with you will either be thrown away or packed away and given back to you as your graduation nears, if you make it that far. Don’t expect to use any communication devices while on this vacation until your final week. You will become familiar with paper, pens, envelopes, and stamps which equals letter writing for you slower folks. We offer you the opportunity of a lifetime, and that is too become one of our proud members.
About our guides: Your friendly tour guides who are just salivating at the opportunity to mentor you, will be several kind-hearted, well-disciplined men and woman who want nothing more than to ensure you have a very memorable and pleasant experience. You can bet your sorry asses that no one will go unnoticed on this vacation. We here at USMC Travel demand and expect full participation at all times. These veteran guides will break you down and teach you everything that you need to know by the numbers to ensure you can properly carry out orders and to defend yourself. Attitude problems; not a problem on this pow wow. We here at USMC travel have very creative ways to adjust those who need adjusting, so learn to think before you run your pie hole while on this vacation.
Extras: To ensure that everyone can properly hear our well-meaning guides, we instruct them to turn up the decibels as they speak. And please do not be alarmed if you find yourself face to face with one of our guides. This is just a way for them to get to know each of you. And if for some silly reason you fail to understand or carry out an order, or if the tour guides have nothing better to do, you will endure some extra training which makes for an excellent cardio workout and a great way to cleanse the pores as sweat is guaranteed to pour down your worried face. No matter how much of this extra training you may receive, we here at USMC Travel will pick up the tab to show you our level of commitment and your credit card will not be charged any additional charges. We will also ensure that you are a master at marching around, and in the art of janitorial duties. BFF, yes, your M-16 rifle is now your best friend forever and you will be proficient in all aspects of this lethal weapon. Attention to detail will be embedded into each of you all courtesy of this highly sought after vacation package.
Daily routine: Your days will begin early at about zero dark-thirty and you will perform some form of physical activity as a group each day. For you lazy deep sleepers, not to worry. We ensure your awakening each and ever single day. Rain or shine, extreme heat or frigid cold, we here at USMC Travel don’t give a flying fuck and we will proudly carry on with the plan of the day. To avoid any bullshit drama such as you wanting to hang yourself, or you trying to escape your commitment, several of you will watch over each other each and every night to ensure we are all happy campers.
Activities: If you have a fear of heights, then boy oh boy are we gonna have some fun with you candy asses. Note: Medical staff is on hand just in case one of you happens to go, SPLAT!. To assists you with any soreness you may have, we have included about five days of leisure time in one of our Olympic size pools. And just in case you were wondering, there are no dolphins in this pool to swim with, but there are plenty of “Dogs” who will be more than happy to waddle with you. No rubber duckies in this pool either, but we will be more than happy to teach you how to float with the provided gear you will be issued. What’s that you say: Not a good marksman; not a freakin problem. Our eager staff of well qualified and proven marksman will have you hitting a fleas ass from as far away as 500 yards in just two short weeks. And a favorite event of many of our vacationers is the often feared, but very misunderstood ‘sinus clearing chamber’ which will leave you in tears while sporting a beautiful hooded mask provided to you at no extra costs. Filters sold separately. This event makes for a wonderful photo op for your scrap book, so don’t forget to smile as your mucous pours from your nose. For you nature freaks, not to worry, we also have you covered. Package #1775 offers some beautiful yet god-awful painful walks of various distances and speeds, and guess what? We even provide you with a sturdy back-pack stuffed with back-breaking weight. Note: You must sign a blister waiver before going on any nature hike. You see, we here at USMC Travel don’t like lawsuits. And for you aggressive combative mother fuckers, you will engage each other in some motivating hand to hand combat. Just don’t forget to sport your mouth peace. In the event that your fangs do become dislodged, or if your grille begins to spew bright red blood, no need to worry. We have a friendly staff of well qualified dentists who love nothing more than to yank, drill, and god knows what else, all free of charge.
Meals: Yes, you do get food. Meals are also covered in this package, but the amount of time to eat them is never guaranteed, so stuff your pie holes as quickly as possible. And for you fancy diners, don’t come here expecting steak and lobster washed down with some gay ass imported wine or mineral water. Instead of that fancy overpriced shit, we here at USMC Travel provide top notch four star first class catering and exquisite well aged enveloped food which believe it or not can be stuffed into your cargo pockets. Tap luke warm water from one of your handy-dandy canteens to wash it all down, and you are good to go. What more can a vacationer ask for.
Grooming standards: Did we mention the haircuts for you males. We here at USMC Travel do not like cooties such as head lice which is why all male’s wigs will be removed and then allowed to gradually grow back to ensure a studly appearance by graduation time. Your Chewbacca days are long gone as shaving your pretty little face is mandatory. Say goodbye to that nasty rock star hair do, and your Rastafarian days of sporting dreads cease now. We pride ourselves on looking sharp and we love it when we all look the same.
Your reward: Upon your completion of package #1775, each of you receives various outstanding uniforms which are yours to keep forever, some photos, videos, and you get a giant green sea bag to stuff all of your trash in. Plus you get the right to now say, “Semper Fi which is our company moto. and your membership will never expire.
Graduation info: Your loved ones, stalkers, along with any groupies who by now will be all over you, are allowed to come see you graduate, but they must pay their own way, or hitchhike, we really don’t care.
Warning: Under no circumstances should the weak or lame sign up for this exotic vacation. Other tour packages offered by our friendly competitors of, USA Travel, USN Travel, USAF Travel and USCG Travel can not begin to compare to this life changing thirteen week vacation, but they will never admit this.
We don’t want to scare any of you sweethearts and this is why this travel brochure only makes mention of the basics you each will encounter. Good times await you, so what are you waiting for. And if you have a buddy, heck, bring him or her along. This way both of you can experience hell together.
NO REFUNDS! Wait a minute…well god damn…we here at USMC travel will even pay you to vacation with us.
To lock in your bunk, call: 1-800-MARINES

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THE RESERVIST’S CREED


I am a Marine.
There are many like me, but I am a reservist.
The title is mine, it is my life.
I must master my duties, but only thirty eights days per year unless activated.
Without my one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer, I am useless.
Without reservists, the Marine Corps is useless.
I must be true, and I can’t let what active duty Marines think of me get to me.
I must be willing to leave my civilian life behind when activated.
And I must not wonder why a four year college degree may take more than four years to obtain.
We will drill.

My moto hair cut is temporary, and my USMC tattoos are permanent.
Thus, I am part of the brotherhood.
I will rarely field day, or stand a duty, and my pay is barely enough to get me drunk.
I will use my GI Bill, and I will earn the Reservist’s Ribbon.
And I will often wonder what it’s like on active duty.

Before God I swear this creed.
My reserve status doesn’t bother me.
We are the masters of Toy’s For Tots.
We fill the hearts of many underprivileged children.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace.

reserv

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CALIFORNIA DREAMING


mapSince many of you who serve in the Marine Corps will end up stationed in California or will pass through here for your training, it is important to at least know some of the basics about this great state. I can’t help but to notice the many ignorant comments made by outsiders who obviously have no clue as to what California is all about. Hopefully this writing will answer some of your questions and will enlighten you about life out in this hellish paradise known as California.
First off many non-Californians love to refer to this state as “Cali.” Well not only does that sound lame, but many Californians hate that reference. The majority of the people from California do not call it Cali and if they do, a slap to the face is legal in most counties. Just don’t call it Cali.
Secondly, Los Angeles does not equal California. L.A. is only one city of many throughout the state. Los Angeles or any other city does not represent California as a whole. The state of California has many large cities such as San Diego, Anaheim, Riverside, Long Beach, Fresno, Bakersfield, San Francisco, Sacramento, Oakland, San Jose, and many more. California if placed on the east coast would stretch from Georgia to upper Pennsylvania, therefore you will find a wide range of very diverse areas and your experience will vary from region to region. The biggest mistake foreigners make in regards to California is that they assume it is a one dimensional state and they base their views off of what is shown in movies or on television. Even many locals have no clue as to how diverse their state is and many residents will never venture past their city limits. The more of the state that you experience, the more you will appreciate it for what it is, so don’t be in such a rush to judge something based on your brief visit.
People often assume that California is just one large state with masses of people and traffic all around. This could not be further from the truth. Basically you can break the state down into four main parts. You have Northern CA, Central CA, Southern CA, and Coastal CA. Each region will vary and each will leave you with a different outlook/opinion on California.
The northern portion of California resembles Montana or Wyoming and is a very peaceful area with very few people who live on acres of land or in very rural communities. There are no traffic jams or masses of people up there. It is some of the most beautiful isolated country in America and it is believed to be the home of Big Foot, so watch out. It is in this region where you will find legalized pot farms and many hippie types who enjoy being as far away from big brother as humanly possible.
Then we have the great Central Valley which produces much of America’s food. This area is massive and is nothing but mile after mile of rich farmland. Much of central CA resembles Iowa, or Kansas in the sense of its flat lands and very spread out homes with the occasional larger city mixed in between. You name it and it is probably grown in the Central Valley. Farm after farm, orchard after orchard, without the Central Valley I think it is safe to say the USA would be hurting for food, especially during the winter.
Southern California, home to about 60 percent of California’s population, roughly some 23 million people and I am sure many more illegal people is easily the most interesting region in the world. From the low deserts to the high deserts these areas produce very hot summers and cool mild winters. Despite this region being mainly a desert, there are many mountains in this area that get plenty of yearly snow. Most of the population in SOCAL can be found in the Greater Los Angeles area and in the San Diego Area. Much of Southern California is just desert with very little activity and low populations. The Marine Corps has several bases in SOCAL which vary in location and will therefore offer very different lifestyles. MCLB Barstow and 29 Palms are two bases located in the rural desert while Camp Pendleton , MCRD SD and MCAS Miramar are located near the coast in an urban environment. These two worlds are very different despite being in the same geographical region. This should show you just how diverse this state is, especially the southern region.
The many coastal communities up and down the state are some of the most beautiful places known to man. From the many areas throughout the county of San Diego, to the Santa Barbara area the views are breathtaking. Heading north to Monterey and then Santa Cruz, these areas are a vacationer’s dream and usually very affluent areas. Many wineries can be found along the coast along with many empty beaches.
You can experience most of anything you find anywhere in the USA in California. From hunting, to river rafting, to national parks, to world famous skiing, this state has it all. From the Sierra Nevada Mountains, to Death Valley, the extremes will be felt. From the Great Redwood trees in the north, to the majestic boulders and waterfalls at Yosemite, the mind will be amazed at these unique sites. And when it comes to sports the Golden State has well over ten professional sports teams and many more outstanding college teams. Think about that folks. There are five MLB teams in California. This should tell you how massive this state is and how populated it is. Universities such as USC, UCLA, Cal-Tech, Stanford, and Cal Berkely lead the way in education. There are many military bases throughout the state. California is one of only a very few states that contains one active duty base from each branch of service. Many of our black-op programs were created out here just north of Los Angeles and continue to this day. Plus you have JPL located in the LA area which is where NASA controls all of its space machines and a very good target for our enemies to hit.
With a state this large and an even larger population, you will obviously have many problems. The same issues you find in any other state you will also find here, but these issues will usually be about 1,000 times much worse because of the heavy urban areas with masses of people. It should not come as a shock to anyone that California leads the nation in many negative categories and in many positive categories.  When there are nearly 40 million people in your state, you should expect to see and experience things that might make you feel uncomfortable. Most of the state actually has below average crime rates, but when you add in the stats from the larger cities, this makes the entire state seem like one huge ghetto. And as far as politics go: Well once again common sense should tell us that there will be a wide range of views in this state since there are so many people here. No matter the topic, the state is going to be divided since it is such a diverse state. And despite what the media shows, many residents of California are pro-gun, so don’t be so quick to judge an entire state based on what some people say.
California by itself is the world’s eighth largest economy, so remember this fact when you wish badly on this state. The economy out here goes to pay for the many roads you all travel on and also pays for many of the other services you folks use on a daily basis. Most trends in many fields such as education, television, sports, apparel, law enforcement, and technology originate out here and then move on to the rest of the country. For all the negative lip service this state deals with from outsiders, it is amazing to watch the rest of the country as they grasp the many trends that originate out here and then use them to live their lives.
In closing California is not one massive ghetto. It is a very diverse state with many different regions and living or visiting these different regions will leave you with a wide range of views on the state. And yes, we do know how to drive out here, except for one race which I won’t point out. Obviously with this many drivers, there are going to be some bad ones. Once again, judging an entire state based off of what you may have experienced is very ignorant of you. I have driven in over six states and guess what? They all have bad drivers while the majority are good drivers. It is interesting that the richest state in America is also the poorest state. So much wealth in California and it is surrounded by some of the most disgusting ghettos this country has to offer.
But to sum up how diverse California is, think about this: The Marine Corps conducts its desert warfare training out here and several hours away is where it conducts its cold weather mountain warfare training. Last time I checked, there is no other state or location in the world that offers what California has to offer, so suck on that haters.
So the next time you want to spew non-sense about this state, just make sure you aren’t speaking out of your ass and make sure you don’t judge an entire state based off of your limited experience. And don’t forget to enjoy the wide range of foods found out here, especially in SOCAL.
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MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO


blurb_MonkeySeeMonkeyDo_20080812As a wannabee Marine I had the highest level of respect for all Marines and most other people. I viewed all Marines as future brothers and I couldn’t wait to wear the uniform which represented things such as respect, and loyalty. I didn’t see any problem with any particular job and I really didn’t have an opinion on things such as military police, female Marines, or officers. Luckily for me as a poolee I came across several sites which were run by Marines who I so badly wanted to be like. After seeing their dislike for many things in the USMC, I took this to be the norm. So rather than to form my own views and too stand on my own two feet, I decided to flex my weakness and to simply go along with the flow. After all, doing what is easy is what being a tough guy is all about, right?
So here I am as a Marine in a job that isn’t anything like I thought it would be like and in a job that will never really benefit me directly once I get out, but hey, I am the cool one and I’m the bad ass.  Because of my chosen job, I now think all Marines who didn’t choose my job are pussies and worthless and I really don’t respect them.  Because of my ignorance, I don’t really understand what all these other Marines do since it is Marines like us who do all the “real” work.  It doesn’t really matter to me that other Marines have accomplished much more than me and it doesn’t really matter that some of them have seen combat. As long as they have a different job title, their experiences in things such as death and injury cannot compare to what we go through. I don’t really know why I feel this way, but I sort of have to have these beliefs in order to fit in, so bear with me.
I also can’t stand the mother fuckers who wear a badge and bust Marines. Just because I drive my car while being fucked up and endanger many lives, this doesn’t give them the right to do their job, does it? Nah, it doesn’t. Obviously a world without laws and without people to enforce these laws would be a much better place to live in. I wonder if I am also supposed to hate my many “brothers” that leave the Marine Corps and get hired as peace officers. Hopefully I run into some of my fellow brothers once I get out so they can help me form my views as a civilian.
Oh, and don’t get me started on those nasty officers. I think I’m supposed to hate them because they don’t do the same shit as us enlisted Marines and somehow I have been led to believe that because they earned a college degree, they now think they are superior to us. All this time I figured officers were tasked to do one thing as Marines while us enlisted did another. Who knew they were supposed to do the same as us. I guess it’s only fair to look down on a boot officer who thinks he knows it all seeing as I was once a know it all boot. I was given the chance to prove myself, but this doesn’t mean we should give officers the same chance.
As for female Marines, well I’ve never experienced anything negative about them, but like a weak misguided circus monkey, I am basing my views of females off of what some of my peers have taught me. I think because some females earn a certain reputation, we now must assume that they all act this way. Sort of like the wonderful concept of how many think we are all as dumb as rocks who have no real future. I guess it’s only right to judge an entire group based on a few of its members. I guess it makes sense.
I really wish I was stronger and could stand on my own two feet instead of being just another Marine who enjoys showing his ignorance. “Monkey see Monkey do” should be our new moto since it applies to many of us. I now realize that the more we laugh at them, the more they laugh at us and for some odd reason they continue laughing at us well after they exit the Corps.
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Poolee Profile #83: ROYNON-FISHER, J. – RSS BRANDON


IST Group pic
Name: Roynon-Fisher, J.
Location: Dover, FL
RSS: RSS Brandon, RS Orlando
Ship date and MOS: 20130401, 0800/1800/7200 (CE- Combat Support)
Why I chose to enlist into the Marine Corps: I chose to join the Marine Corps because I wanted to be one of the best and show that I could always beat the odds.
My plans for my future/enlistment: Career Marine, hopefully becoming a “Mustang” after 1 or 2 ToEs. Going to keep my nose clean of course.
My advice for other future Marines: Do not freaking give up at any point. Giving up is failure. Push your freaking nasty little bodies to the point of feeling like dying and then some. It’s all freaking mental! As Poolees and later Marines WE DO NOT FREAKING FAIL!
My favorite quote: “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.” — General James “Mad Dog” Mattis
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Poolee Profile #82: HOSKINS, M. – RSS EVERETT


chowNAME: Hoskins, M
LOCATION: Everett, Washington
RSS: RSS Everett
SHIP DATE/MOS: 20130506 (although it could be as soon as 3 Feb 2013), UH contract (0311)

Why I joined the Marine Corps. As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to do something active in my life. I remember being a little kid and playing James Bond, golden gun, and I wanted to be a secret agent. A few years later, for some odd reason I was under the impression that there were only three possible jobs in the world, ambulance driver, firefighter, and cop. Although it was a close call with being a firefighter, I was dead set on being a cop. I wanted the dangerous career. I also wanted to help people. As I grew older, I realized the appeal of the military. It seems a suitable lifestyle for me. Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard were out of the question, leaving the Army or the Marine Corps. With very little research, I was made aware of the astounding comaraderie found in the Marine Corps as well as the unsurpassed supremacy. The longest boot camp, the hardest boot camp, the greatest esprit de corps, highest fitness standards; these are all traits of the Marine Corps.

My plans for my enlistment/future. I currently have 60 college credits, I am getting my high school diploma on 31 January 2013, and I am 17. My intentions are to start out on the enlisted side of the Marine Corps in infantry, and eventually apply for MECEP and become an officer (most likely infantry as well). If I am approved for MECEP and am allowed to pick my BA, I will most likely get a degree in avionics engineering in case I ever decide to work for Boeing (as a back up plan), although I have intentions of staying in the Marine Corps as long as possible. I want to lead Marines. I joined the military to be apart of something bigger than myself and for the experience, I joined the Marine Corps for the brotherhood and to be the best, and I want to be a combat Marine because I would rather be injured or die than anyone else. I originally desired to try out for 0317 or 0321 (scout/sniper, reconnaissance) although that was quickly quashed when MEPS told me I was red/green colorblind.

Some words of motivation for other future Marines. As far as motivation goes? Someone somewhere is training to kill you. A true believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimum food and water, in austere conditions, date and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon, he doesn’t worry about what workout to do- his rucksack weighs what it weighs and he runs longer than he needs to. The true believer doesn’t care how hard it is: he knows either he dies, or the enemy dies. he doesn’t go home at 1700: he is home. He only knows one cause. He trains to survive. Remember that someone is training to kill you. When you go to war, you are fighting a for or against a cause. When you go into battle, you are fighting for your life. Your limits are not what you think they are. Don’t train until you get it right, train until you CANNOT get it wrong! Be serious about this. It’s a big decision. Put everything you have into this lifestyle.

My favorite quote. “Death before dishonor.”

My contact info. Feel free to contact me with questions/comments/concerns about anything I said, or if you just want to talk. We’re all going to be a part of the brotherhood.
heyyoumichael@hotmail.com
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Poolee Profile #81: GALVIS, C.N. – RSS POWAY


Name: Galvis, C.N.
Location: Rancho Bernardo, San Diego, CA
RSS: RSS Poway
MOS and ship date:20130729–03** Infantry
Why I chose to enlist into the Marine Corps: I wanted to do something that will make a difference. I don’t care how big or how small of an impact I make as a Marine, as long as it counts and making the world a safer place to live in. What better way to make a positive influence in the world than being with the Elite.
My plans for my enlistment/future: My plans for serving are to get my 4 years of enlistment done, and manage to get as much college done as I can. When I get to the rank Corporal or a senior Lance Corporal I want to submit a package for MECEP. MECEP is enlisted to Officer Route, I hope to make a career out as an Officer if I can, if not than 1 enlistment is enough.
My words for other future Marines: My advice to my fellow Poolee’s and future Marines is to never give up. Work hard in school, keep up in sports, NEVER DO DRUGS, and to be smart. If you’re feeling down, remember why you wanna be a Marine, use that as your motivation and to just keep going at it.
My favorite quote: “Be a man of principle. Fight for what you believe in. Keep your word. Live with integrity. Be brave. Believe in something bigger than yourself. Serve your country. Teach. Mentor. Give something back to society. Lead from the front. Conquer your fears. Be a good friend. Be humble and be self-confident. Appreciate your friends and family. Be a leader and not a follower. Be valorous on the field of battle. And take responsibility for your actions. Never forget those that were killed. And never let rest those that killed them.” -Major Douglas A. Zembiec
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Poolee Profile #80: KERSTETTER, J.A. – RSS WEST CHESTER


Name: Kerstetter, J.A.
Location: Downingtown
RSS: RSS West Chester
Ship date and MOS:20130422/61XX
Why I  chose the Marine Corps: I chose the Marines for multiple reasons. The biggest one is that I desire to be part of a brotherhood where personal accomplishments are far less important than completing the objective as a team. Most people i went to high school with were self-indulgent and cared very little about the people around them, which honestly made me sick. Another reason is that I didn’t have many opportunities after high school. My choices were the military or go to a trade school. And the military was always on my mind, but with the Marines, I felt that it was the ultimate challenge. If i could become a Marine, the rest of my life would hold much more meaning. Finally, a few buddies of  mine helped me find the guts to go to the recruitment office and sign the papers. The pride and confidence they had in their decision made me feel much more comfortable with making mine.
My plans for my future/Marines: My hope is to serve for life. Many members of my family have served in other branches of the military, and after being honorably discharged they’ve had to find other jobs. I would like to serve atleast 20 years then have a choice to either find a job or live in “retirement mode”. I still have yet to decide whether or not i will apply for officer or stay an enlisted man, but i will do my best to serve atleast 20 years.
My words for other Future Jarheads: Those of you still on the fence about joining the corps, I have a few words. When you decide to join, know that you are doing something that less than 1% of the US population is willing to do. The Marines have always been the few, the proud, and will always be the few, the proud. When your ready to quit on yourself, know that the guys or girls to your left and right will never give up on you. And when they are ready to give up on themselves, return the favor and motivate them. The only thing more dangerous than a Marine and his rifle is a platoon of Marines with their rifles. OORAH!!
My Favorite Quote : “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” – Victor Kiam
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